In my opinion, the best Halloween costume of the year would have been the Old Spice commercial guy, but unfortunately I didn’t come across any on my Halloween weekend adventures. I definitely would have took it upon myself to dress up like that, but was afraid a white guy walking around in a towel carrying deodorant would not be looked as creative, but as idiocy.
My bout of indecision led me to not choose any costume…or so I thought. Apparently a Nike hooded sweatshirt and jeans combined with Caucasian skin and a 6’8 body is the costume of Meyers Leonard. If I had a dollar for every time someone called me “Meyers”, I’d be making money in a very weird way, but I'd still be rich! If my parents had a hard time with me and Bill Cole on the TV last year, they’re really going to be confused this time around.
The best costume I actually saw, was…well…it was a tie being between a very realistic and authentic Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World or just a kid wearing a plain white t-shirt that read, “I’m a crime alert!” Everything else I saw was neither funny nor creative, like the excessive amount of Teletubby’s I noticed this year. A Teletubby is the scariest Halloween costume ever and let me tell you why. It’s not because the actual costume itself is frightening, it’s the actual human being that chose to wear the costume in the first place. Anyone could be hiding under that toddler TV star, and I have to believe only pedophiles, serial rapist, or drug addicts would try such a thing.
I also spotted a lot of Snooki’s, from MTV’s hit reality TV show Jersey Shore. This costume was easy to assemble because all you needed was a wig, a low skirt and even lower than usual standards and you’re all set.
One of the funnier moments of the night was when I witnessed fake cops attempting to arrest real cops. It’s my belief this situation took a 180 degree turn faster than you can say “incarceration.”
I also saw a real cop pulling over a Jimmy Johns employee. I thought they were exempt from the law? You can't be freaky fast while still being obedient to the laws of the road can you? Of course, it could have been a sandwich making impostor but how can I be sure? How will I ever know?!? All these costumes and fake identities are messing with my mind. Seesh, I'm glad Halloween is only once a year.
