Realization: Boredom

Two hours since walking in the front door home and I was already asking myself the question, what the heck am I going to do while everyone is still in school? I'm not one to sleep in so it gives me about six hours of free time to fill with miscellaneous activities to occupy my time and stimulate my brain. I know coach would like me to be working out that whole time, but that's not quite realistic is it? Video games were fun for the first couple of days, but for me to get a challenging, competitive match on FIFA is harder than trying to find money in Eddy Curry's bank account. (Any challengers drop your gamer tag in a tweet mentioning my name or leave it in the comments section of this post and we'll play sometime.)

So I was in desperate need of a hobby, something to fill the void left within those six hours, until I had someone to play with. A couple of weeks ago I asked a question on my facebook page about what's a good television show I should start get caught up on. I was impressed by how many people commented and I appreciated the input, but I had already had a show in mind. I was just waiting for it to download. (A 35GB torrent takes a lot of time with a shaky internet connection). The show I picked was Lost, and by golly since then it has taken over my life.

I'm a crack addict on steroids when it comes to watching Lost. It took me a little under 48 hours to watch the complete first season. I was too embarrassed to do the math on how much watching that actually is.

The show is bloody brilliant (Sorry Charlie's accent is rubbing off on me) and I almost feel sorry for those who watched it week by week, when the episodes originally aired. The writers of this show are geniuses at creating cliff-hangers and if I had that much time in between each Lost fix, I would have given up a long time ago. That's the just addiction, it's like a book you cannot put down, you want to find the resolution to the questions left unanswered.

Pulling myself away from the television has been difficult, but the sun and the pool in my backyard has been really good in offering enticing bribes. Seriously, who can pass up a pool in the summertime?

The Dentist

Never was a big fan of going to the dentist. All it feels like I get out of there is a set of bleeding gums and a tooth brush in an attempt to cheer me up afterwards. One thing I am glad about is how I grew out of having to bite into that foam fluoride stuff anymore. I used to have nightmares of having that flavored toothpaste being shoved down my throat. The worst part was afterwards you weren't supposed to eat or drink for 45 minutes and what made it even more terrible is my dentist is situated by some really delicious restaurants. So that's a plus. Also I don't know about you, but I think the high-powered specialized toothbrush the hygienist uses tickles like crazy. It was from her, my hygienist, and OMGFacts, that I learned you can in fact tickle yourself if you just rub your finger on the top of your mouth. (Please Advise: Wash hands first). Yeah I know it's weird but ever since I can remember I've been enamored with why you can't tickle yourself. Well now you can.

Aside from the giggles because of the tickles, it's not much fun after that. One of the things I hate about the dentist is the big, bright light they shine directly in front of your face. The whole time I'm sitting there I'm thinking, "Damn I really use a pair of UV protection sunglasses right now and a bottle of SPF 30 wouldn't hurt either." The tooth inspector I went to as a kid would let me wear sunglasses to block the light and as it turns out, I don't ever recall outgrowing sunglasses at any point in my life, so this is serving as my reminder to bring some with me next time. It'd actually just be easier if every dentist had a pair handy for any patients who asked for them. I don't care if they're Ray Bans or shutter shades, anything would help.

Another thing that annoys me about the dentist is this: You know the bib they wrap around your neck as you take a seat in the examination chair? I hate it when the hygienist wipes her utensils on my bib. Can't they get their own damn napkin to wipe the gunk off? I know it's my gunk on the instruments but it's the principle of the it that really bothers me. Just get your own handkerchief, k?

My Welcome Home

Summer is finally upon us and while most people who still can check mark the box beside "student" on government forms have roughly three months to sit around and do absolutely nothing productive, us college athletes have three glorious weeks (give or take three weeks) of lounge time before its stripped from us all over again. So excuse me for being rude Champaign when I burnt rubber out of there the instant my last final was over, driving as quickly as my 4-cylinder SUV would take me en route home...or to the Lou as some people would call it.

(Quick what are some other lame nicknames for cities. Here's the one's that I can think of off the top of my head.
H-Town - Houston
The A - Atlanta
Sac Town - Sacramento
Chambana - Champaign-Urbana
Oh yea I forgot, here's the close parenthesis)

Anyway, being home is totally fabulous. (Hard not to sound feminine when using totally and fabulous in the same sentence but yeah I said it). I forgot how nice it is to be cooked for every night, my laundry done for me every day, and to have a pantry stocked full of delectable goodies at my disposal whenever I feel like it. (Disposal is kind of a funny word to put there, because my mom is continually amazed at the amount of food I eat and sometimes can't keep up; even with a stocked pantry.) There's a catch though, to being home and having all this done for me. When going over the rules my parents drew up upon my birth I must have missed something in the fine print that said as soon as the first born leaves for college the rest of the children have the right to invade on the vacant-for-the-moment room. Therefore now I am stuck sharing a room with my nine year old brother, which used to be my sisters room, and my sisters took the rooms my brother and I left. Hopefully that made sense because I'm too upset to continue. Below, is a visual representation of what the room I used to call mine, looks like now.




This is the room that I'm sharing with my nine year old brother. I am not pleased.



In addition to not having a space to call my own, I had a hard time finding a place for my personal belongings, such as my computer. This is where my desktop currently sits, in the closet my brother and I share when I'm at home. Yes that is a card table and yes those are beanie babies in the background. I'm not claiming them to be mine but it's possible they were at one point in my life.


All images used by permission of the Griffey Family

Despite the outrageous sleeping arrangements in the Griffey household, I've been getting accustomed to doing nothing all day and kind of liking it. Every day I wake up, and ask my mom what we're going to do and she always responds with, "nothing." So I'd go workout, play some Xbox, and watch the clock tick until my brother would get home from school so we could play. Needless to say I was surprised when one day her response to that question was I had a dentist appointment.

The Players' Dictionary

When I joined the team last summer, it didn't take long for me to notice a new trend that was happening in my life. After each and every workout, practice or weights session, I would always find myself rushing to get home to hop on the computer, type in the URL for Urban Dictionary, and look up whatever new word was used by my teammates that day. Pickup games became a Cultural Studies class. I was the student, Chester, Mike D, and Dominique were the teachers. What I was observing everyday was a remarkable mixing of cultures, collision of backgrounds, and a general merging of geographical slang words from different places around the country. (I'm kind of disappointed we didn't have a foreign player to see what words he brought to the table). To make sense of it all, I wrote most of these words down in my own definitions in an easy-to-read format with examples for better understanding. Keeping this information to myself didn't feel right to me, so I am sharing it with you, right here, right now. I also do want to say that if it wasn't for Kyle Clifford, this post would have never happened.

Introducing the "Players" dictionary. A dictionary by yours truly to keep the world in order and confusion at a minimum.

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Burner – Noun. Similar to in the video game NBA Jam when you make three shots in a row, you’re on fire. Ex. “Juan hasn’t missed a shot all day. He’s got a burner.”

Bounce - Adj. Describing someone's vertical leap. Ex. "Did you see where that dude jumped from? He got bounce!"

Chu – (Okay so "You" is a pronoun. "Chu" doesn't have a part of speech). – What you get when you don't fully pronounce the 3 letter word "you". Also the sound you make when you sneeze.
Me: Hey can you grab my wallet from the gym, I left it up there.
Anonymous: I got chu.

Crackin' - Adj. Describes an event that is particularly crowded with a hidden meaning that others should join.
Me: How's the party?
Anonymous: It's crackin'!! Sorority girls everywhere. Where you at?
Me: I'll be there in 2.

Fam – Noun. Word put at the end of a sentence or statement to someone that is either really close to you, or in your family. Ex. “What you doin’ tonight fam?”

Finna – Adv. Used as a connector word to explain what one is soon to do; Synonymous with ‘about’. Ex. I’m finna get some food then chill with my roommates.”

Foo – Adj. Thought to be short for “fool” but research is inconclusive. Ex. “You better watch yo’self foo!” 2. Can describe something dysfunctional, for example Jon and Kate Gosslin’s family matters. 3. Also used to describe something below an acceptable standard of quality or performance. Ex. “The Chicago Cubs are foo.”

G – Adj. Short for gangster or gangsta. Usually put at the end of verbal comments or remarks to add a connotation and a directed title to whomever the speaker is referring to. From my understanding a synonym would be dude.
Anonymous: Wud up G?
Me: Was that even English?

Jai – Adv. A worded version of an exponent; used to drastically enhance the meaning of the word that immediately precedes it. Ex. School has been terrible lately, I’m jai excited for summer.”

Joint – Noun. NO, not drug paraphernalia. But in most cases I’ve seen, joint refers to an object that is about to be described, most likely a song or movie.
Me: Have you heard the new Eminem song?
Anonymous: Yeah dude that joint rock!

Nun (None), Pause, no homo – Noun. Used as an escape word after saying something that could have homosexual meanings when not intending to. In other words ruling out the homosexual context of something said to another man. Ex. I’ve been in the gym all day working on my ball handling, PAUSE!”

O.C. – Adj. Most often used as a verbal acronym with a literal meaning of ‘Out of Control’ [Outta Control]. Ex. Tiger Woods sex addiction was O.C.

On Deck – Phrase meaning what is coming up next. Pretty self-explanatory but you've ever watched a baseball game in your life but figured I should include it.

Salty - Adj. Meaning not very happy. Pissed off. Ex. The teacher gave a pop quiz and you showed up late to class. You're salty.

Tough – Adj. Another word to indicate approval or admiration. Ex. “This iPad is tough!” Synonym with other slang words that mean approval: cool, sweet, tight, sick, awesome, etc.

(The word document I was typing this in had so many red squiggly lines I felt my work had been graded by a 3 year-old.)