Thursday, December 10, 2009

The End Of The Beginning

Finals start this week. Wait what?!?

That’s right, 1/8 of my college career is coming to a close. It’s been a good start and has absolutely flown by. I’m having fun, learning a lot, and making the most of my time here.

I’ve never been one to stress over finals that much, it’s too much of a cliché for me. My plan has always been to take care of business during the semester then the only work I really have to do is calculate my grade up to this point, and figure out a range of what I could score on my final without causing my overall grade to fluctuate. This is a daunting task too, because the only thing in math I’m good at is the law of averages and that’s only because I wanted to figure out my scoring average in high school.

Somehow, my philosophy has not yet been discovered by everyone else and students all around campus are having complete mental breakdowns from over-stress. It must suck being pushed to the brink analyzing lecture notes, schedules, or study guides. I’ll never forget the ear-popping shriek of terror from the girl that sits behind me in the middle of class when she noticed she had scheduled two finals at the exact same time. I found this completely rude and unacceptable and she was calmly asked to leave the classroom, by me. Both the professor and the rest of the spooked class agreed with my wish, and she shame walked out of the building.

Campus life also has a weird feeling about it as well. Instead of over-crowding the usual campus hangouts (bars), students are lining up outside Starbucks and Bread Co. The following is an actual order, placed by a girl in front of me at Starbucks. (Read really fast and I swear I’m not joking.) “Yeah, hi, yeah, I’ll take a Café mocha with 2 shots of espresso. Can you do that? I sure hope so. And I’ll take a espresso frappuccino blended coffee also. (ten second pause) Oh wait, and I want two more double shots of espresso. Can I do that? Did you get all that? Do you want me to repeat?” Quickly doing the math in my head, I calculated seven shots of espresso and urgently wished this girl good luck at not getting a heart attack. Later that night I heard ambulances rushing down the street and I wondered…but nah it couldn’t be.

I can’t help but notice the lack of sleep the student body as a whole is experiencing. Walking to class is similar to a scene from Dawn of the Dead, a bunch of red-eyed zombies, muttering class notes to themselves, walking in a stupor with no awareness of their immediate surroundings.

What’s even worse is the weather has turned to crap. Vicious 40-MPH winds have been ripping about thrashing through campus lifting up those not prepared or heavy enough to withstand it. On a recent trip outside, I was suddenly, without warning, propelled to my tippy toes by an unmatched supernatural strength. I timidly glanced behind me, quickly looked both ways to the side and stole a peek above me searching for the culprit. When I saw nobody around, I whispered to myself, “God???”

I’ll probably be really bored during the holiday break because let’s face it; I never leave my place anyway except to go to Qdoba or Ubben basketball complex. Maybe I’ll have some time to do some things with the blog that I’ve been dreaming up. You never know but I know you wouldn’t want to miss out so check back often.


  1. and it is with great disdain that i welcome you, tyler griffey, to finals week at the U of I

  2. I can't believe how fast it went.

  3. Chesterfield MO BillDecember 11, 2009 at 11:40 PM

    Welcome to Illinois, the wind tunnel on chalmers is awesome.

  4. haha, i can't believe you and i both figure out the amount of points we need to keep the grade. its why i never stress at finals time. i hardly studied at all actually because i only need 40/100 points on my one final for an A, not a big deal. the rest of this is hilarious, as always i enjoy reading your thoughts on life here at the U of I.
    -Twitter name: salbert2