Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Old Man Stopped Snoring A Long Time Ago

All this rain that’s hydrating Champaign lately has gotten me into a huge fight with Mother Nature. I hope she reads this and understands why I'm so pissed. I wake up and look outside and see what could be portrayed as a gorgeous day where the sun is gleaming and temperature is serene, but then, like she had planned it along, after everyone left without their rain essentials (especially those who walked to class without a hood, umbrella, rain boots, or jacket) Mother Nature laughs in our face and playfully watches while she makes it rain. Her ability to make it rain is kind of like how I can make it rain on a basketball court at any given time. The only difference would be the amount of moisture in our “Making It Rain” demonstrations. Mine would just be the drops of condensation on her enormous irrigation system that waters the entire world.

Of course, most people who actually enjoy the rain are usually senior citizens or people who don’t have anything important to go to on that particular day. When you have a hectic schedule like mine, staying in all day is absolutely not an option. It’s not hard to point out the most common excuses of why most people dislike the rain. I’m going to try and point out a few obscure ones.

1. First and foremost, I cannot stand driving in the rain. It is impossible to keep a clean car through a rainy day, and I’m talking about just the interior. Doesn’t it seem like that after the one day you get the free time to completely detail every aspect of your car, it just pours and pours the next day? I expect the outside to get dirty but what I don’t understand is how the inside gets dirty before I even drive it if it’s been raining. I could have just spent two hours cleaning the interior of my car, have it rain overnight, and then get into my car the next morning and have it feel dirty again. Ugh!

2. Another thing about vehicles and rain is the windshield wipers. I bought a new car in May of 2008 and it only took only three months for the windshield wipers to do what I call an unsatisfactory job. I hate when the wipers do that thing where they jump across your shield of wind several times and leave blotches of water and make a noise that makes you want to punch something. Then once the wipers calm down, they still do a crappy job and leave streaks of water which make driving, especially at night very difficult.

a. AND then, you know how your windshield wipers have like 3 different speeds in which they operate? One will wipe every ten seconds, the next every 4 seconds, then once every second? I hate when the rain is coming down at a speed where the first level of wiping is too slow and the second level of wiping is too fast. I’m I the only one that gets pissed off when the wipers wipe without in rain needed to be wipe?

3. I found this next thing to be quite comical even though I don’t really have to worry about it, but a friend who lives in my dorm is always complaining about how she hates the rain because it ruins her hair for the day. (I can’t argue with it because she looks absolutely hilarious when she comes back after walking to class in the rain. Is it shameful for me that I never let her know that I would be more than willing to give her a ride to class on these rainy days? In the case of my personal entertainment, I think not.) I’ve been keeping a tab of the constant fights between the rain and Megan’s hair and so far the rain is undefeated with 8 wins. I, on the other hand don’t really care about this because I never do anything with my hair anyway. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning I will just stick my head in the shower to rid myself of bed head, then go. Don’t judge because it works.

4. Lastly, I hate the rain because of how dumb I feel when I hold my umbrella. Even though I’d much rather be dry and look goofy going to class than be wet in class I still feel awkward. I don’t know what it is because I look at all the Asians holding their umbrellas and they don’t look anything out of the ordinary. (The number of Asians on this campus is staggering) Maybe it’s the persistent feeling that I’m too tall to hold an umbrella that gets me apprehensive when walking with one. One time I was walking, minding my own business when I see up ahead of me poking out of the colorful sea of umbrellas a larger one, standing a solid two feet taller than the rest. As I walked towards the oncoming umbrellaed Mike Davis, the only thing we could mutter in this embarrassing moment was a slight head shake and a chuckle at ourselves.

Prior to writing this post, I never realized that your WINDSHIELD actually protects you from the wind and is directly stated in the name of the object. Shield of Wind.

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